I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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