We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Girls should come with a carfax report
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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