my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
