R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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