party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
