This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
how does that bad decision feel?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize