Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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