i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
