Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
