Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
