Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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