(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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