she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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