I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
