carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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