We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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