My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize