just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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