Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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