Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.