You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
