how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it was like eating out sand paper
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
