Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
