You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
