ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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