Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We are two peas in an std pod
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
