in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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