I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
