VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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