A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
