Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
