how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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