there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
love makes seman taste better
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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