she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
