i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
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How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
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Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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