Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
