I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
