May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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