is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
