Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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