yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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