At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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