I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
foreskin is a definite game changer
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
