she looked like the before picture.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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