this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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