Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize