Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
