when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
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The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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