Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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