He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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