Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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