I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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