I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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