Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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