I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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